Thursday, April 30, 2009

Some of you may find this disturbing but I ran out of breast milk storage bags, last week, and had to find a quick solution for transporting a few servings worth of milk to my mom's house. Ironic (and somewhat ridiculous) that the best container I had was a milk jug.

Susan has left, Maggie is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've found my self in a reflective mood. I've been thinking a lot about myself as a mother and wondering how I'm doing. Particularly what it means to be a working mother and whether or not it's the best thing for Maggie. In some respects, I feel like maintaining my career may make me a better parent. Because I love what I do and am passionate about my work, I feel like it adds dimension to who I am as a person. That has to transfer to Maggie, right? And maybe as she grows up she'll see that it's possible to take pleasure in work and she'll be encouraged and look forward to finding her own niche. Maybe.

The guilt comes in when I recognize that there are 30 hours in every week that I spend away from her. The poor thing is only four months old. Biologically we should be together. I'm almost ashamed to admit, though, that I wouldn't necessarily want that... I enjoy working too much. 

Should I feel guilty about that? I don't know. I really probably shouldn't be dwelling on these things. It can't be healthy.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Over the weekend we attended a craft fair and tractor pull at the local county fair. The tractor pull was a first for Maggie and a first for me. We only stayed for the "antique" portion and I loved watching these beautiful, old machines. I can't say that the weight and distance that they pulled was terribly interesting, but it was still a great way to break out of our normal routine. Maggie was surprisingly tolerant of the dust and noise and heat... and even my persistent sunscreen applications.

Much is happening this week. The biggest of all is the arrival of our new niece, Lucia Alison. She was born last night around 11pm and my sister described her as peaceful and beautiful. We saw a few pictures through email and we now know the latter to be true. We're so excited to have this new addition to the family!

Also this week, our good friend Susan is staying with us to take care of Maggie while I head to work. My parents had a few too many grandchildren on their hands this week so Susan took a train down from New York to help out. It's so nice to see her and I'm so glad she has a chance to meet and spend time with Maggie. I have no idea how we'll ever return this favor!

Friday, April 24, 2009

The camera-work is terrible but the audio makes up for it. I was finally able to make Maggie laugh on camera. I can't tell you how much I love this video. Hearing her laugh is the most wonderful thing!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What kind of parents would we be if we didn't give Maggie mohawks at bath time? Her childhood just wouldn't be complete.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

From the house. (I'm in love with the yellow bed.)

We decided that an easy outing today would be a tour of the Belair Mansion. (Believe it or not, there is a bit of history in our suburban town.) And after the tour, we layed the girls in the grass for a pic... totally against their will.

We have been so lucky with the weather this weekend. Yesterday we went to the park and had a great little picnic. We staked out a good spot under a (trimmed) weeping willow that was along the pond and enjoyed our turkey sandwiches. Evey got a chance to run and Maggie laid on the blanket and stared at the sky.

We also discovered that Maggie is captivated by Evey. You can see in the photo the way she beams when Evey leans over her. Very sweet.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Cousins meet! (More later. We're off to the park...)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wouldn't the world be heaven if all children dressed like this?

I really need to get a handle on my infatuation with baby clothes. I regularly find myself daydreaming about new dress ideas for Maggie and I've even considered chopping up my prom dress in order to make her another romper. I suppose most women would be happy to say goodbye to prom but I actually still love what I wore. It is sleeveless and knee length, and the fabric is a pale blue cotton with yellow embroidery that incorporates classic Japanese motifs. (As some of you know, I didn't exactly "fit in" during high school.) I wore the dress again to my cousin's wedding two years ago but I don't believe it fits me, post-baby. Do I cut into it, now, for Maggie? Or do I save it for her on the off-chance that she actually wants to wear it to her own prom?

Maggie has a very strange obsession with the sound visualizer that comes with iTunes. She'll hardly stop to blink when we turn it on for her. I'm not sure if this is a healthy pass time?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Maggie in her Easter dress (care of Grandma Susie).

This photo was taken at a surprise birthday party for me on Saturday. I was so flattered that Jen and Graham put this together and I was even more flattered to discover that I had more friends in DC than I realized. It was such a fun afternoon.

Yesterday, of course, was Easter and it was not nearly as good of a day. I was really looking forward to the wonderful meal that my parents were preparing and to spend time with my niece and nephews, but an hour after getting to their house I became so sick, so suddenly. I spent the day holed up in my old bedroom while everyone celebrated downstairs.

Being sick and trying to be a mother is so much more difficult than I realized. I really relied on Graham and my family, yesterday, to take care of Maggie. I'm so lucky to have that option. In fact, I even called my mom this afternoon to watch the baby for a few hours while I continue to recuperate. Maggie's a lucky girl to have so many people that care.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Okay, so this isn't the best video of it... but good news... Maggie rolled over for the first time, yesterday! For the past week or so she has been truly focused on this endeavor and would make attempts at every opportunity. Typically she would get stuck on her side, unable to turn that last little bit, and it was pretty adorable to see how much this would frustrate her. She would squawk and grunt and shout, all in exasperation.

Well, yesterday, she finally made it over while she was at my mom's house for the day. It's silly, but when my mom called my desk to tell me, I felt a little lump rise in my throat. Not because of the accomplishment but because I wasn't there to witness it! I hate that I will have to miss milestones.

Fortunately she showed off a little bit for me and Graham when we got home.

Monday, April 6, 2009

This a photo of my mother's grandfather and her oldest brother, Dan. Isn't it great? They are at the family farm and, apparently, the small building behind them is the hog shed.

When I see photos like this, I wonder how our photos will be seen 60 years from now? Will the pictures I take of Maggie have the same nostalgic quality as this one? And, how will they even last that long? Most of our photos are in digital form and the technology will likely change, sending our current archive into extinction. How sad. I'll have to make a point of printing her photos more often.

P.S. Congratulations to Matt and Rachel on the birth of Althea Louise! Can't wait to meet her!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I think she likes this song.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

We recently started reading Miffy books to Maggie and it's amazing the response she has to this colorful little bunny. With other board books her attention is hit or miss and her interest is difficult to gauge. With Miffy, on the other hand, she smiles so wide with every turn of the page and can't take her eyes off of Miffy's adventures. We've definitely found a favorite.